What We Exercise, We Expand

Nargis Akhter
Sep 16
5 min read

Nargis Akhter RDN | 09/16/2025

There exists a natural law: all our faculties; physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual grow when exercised and diminish when neglected. Muscles strengthen through use, but weaken in idleness. The mind expands when we share knowledge, yet shrinks when left unchallenged. Allah (God) has granted us the ability to recognize truth through our inner conscience. When we respond to truth, this ability is nurtured. But if we see the truth and choose to ignore it, this divine gift begins to fade. The more we deny it, the more our capacity to perceive truth declines.

This reflection speaks to a universal truth: growth is intentional. It’s not something that happens passively—it demands engagement, effort, and courage.

In my own journey, I’ve come to see that every part of me—body, mind, heart, and soul—is like a garden. If I tend to it, it flourishes. If I neglect it, weeds of doubt, fear, and stagnation creep in.

• Physically, I’ve learned that movement isn’t just about fitness, it’s about vitality. When I push myself, I feel alive. When I stop, I feel disconnected from my own strength.

• Mentally, teaching others or sharing ideas has always sharpened my understanding. It’s in the act of giving that I receive clarity. But when I isolate my thoughts, they become rigid and stale.

• Emotionally, I’ve discovered that vulnerability is a muscle. The more I open up, the more resilient I become. But if I shut down, I lose the ability to connect deeply.

• Spiritually, the most profound lesson has been about truth. There have been moments when I felt a quiet nudge, a sense of what’s right, what’s real. When I followed it, I grew in wisdom and peace. But when I ignored it, that voice became harder to hear. It’s as if the soul has its own language, and we must choose whether to keep listening.

This passage reminds me that development isn’t just about achievement—it’s about alignment. Aligning with truth, with purpose, with the divine spark within. And that alignment requires daily choices: to act, to reflect, to believe.

For much of my life, I struggled with avoiding conflict. I thought keeping the peace meant staying silent, even when something hurt or felt unfair. Over time, that habit of suppressing my emotions led to two extremes: either I’d react impulsively, or I’d shut down completely. Both responses left me feeling bitter and disconnected—from others and from myself.

It wasn’t until my Master’s program, during a management class, that I heard something that shifted everything: “Conflict isn’t always bad—it can be a catalyst for growth.” That idea cracked something open in me. For the first time, I saw conflict not as something to fear, but as something to understand, navigate, and even use to strengthen relationships and self-awareness. That moment sparked a deep curiosity in me: I wanted to learn how to engage with conflict in a way that felt healthy, intentional, and empowering.

Time, Energy, Peace — Gone Before We Notice

Even the smallest conflicts quietly steal from us. They drain our time, sap our energy, and consume our resources often without us realizing until we’re running low on all three.

The Silent Thieves of Our Days

Small conflicts are like emotional paper cuts—minor, but persistent. They don’t just disrupt the moment; they ripple outward, affecting our focus, our mood, and even our relationships. Here’s how:

Time: Arguments, misunderstandings, or passive tension can eat away at hours we could’ve spent building, creating, or simply resting. Time lost to conflict is rarely recovered.

Energy: Emotional strain is exhausting. Whether it’s replaying a conversation in your head or bracing for another round, conflict drains the mental fuel we need to show up fully in other areas of life.

Resources: This isn’t just about money, it’s about attention, goodwill, and emotional bandwidth. Every unresolved issue chips away at the reserves we use to support ourselves and others.

The Gift in the Struggle: Brain, Boundaries, and Beneficial Disagreement

What if we treated small conflicts like early warning signs, not nuisances to ignore, but signals to pause, reflect, and recalibrate? Sometimes, a moment of clarity or compassion can save hours of tension later.

The human brain is naturally resistant to change. Even when we consciously decide to act differently, the brain may send signals that conflict with our intentions. This resistance stems from its preference for familiar patterns, it seeks safety in what it already knows.

To truly shift behavior, commitment is essential. Interest alone isn’t enough. Many people are intrigued by the idea of change, but few are genuinely committed to the process it demands.

Commitment: A Deeper Perspective

Commitment should arise not from ego or pride, but from a place of humility and gratitude. When you respect yourself and your journey, you begin to honor the effort it takes to grow.

Ask yourself:

Is my reason for change powerful enough?

If the answer is yes, you’ll find the strength to do whatever it takes.

How the Brain Reinforces Old Patterns

The brain tends to interpret new experiences through the lens of the past. It looks for familiar cues and often projects old emotional responses onto new situations. This is why change feels hard—it’s not just about doing something new, but about retraining how you interpret and respond.

To break old patterns and create new ones, try these methods:

• Recognize your thoughts and behaviors.

Ask: Are these leading me toward the life I want?

• Reframe your perspective.

The meaning you assign to events shapes your emotional response. Shift the narrative to empower yourself.

• Release negative emotions.

Let go of resentment, fear, or guilt. These emotions drain your energy and reinforce old habits.

• Retrain your brain.

Through consistent practice, new emotional patterns begin to replace the old ones. Over time, the grip of past reactions weakens.

Conflict, though often uncomfortable, is not inherently destructive. When approached with awareness, it becomes a mirror—reflecting our triggers, values, and unmet needs. The brain, wired for both protection and connection, plays a pivotal role in how we perceive and respond to tension. By understanding its patterns—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—we can shift from reactive habits to reflective growth. Healthy conflict invites clarity, deepens relationships, and fosters resilience. It’s not the presence of disagreement that drains us, but the absence of intentionality. When we engage with conflict consciously, it becomes less of a thief and more of a teacher.